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    happy stepmother happy life
    6 Commandments for New Stepparents
    SMIS 7 February 2022
    Top Tips For Getting Your Stepchild’s Mother Out Of Your Head
    SMIS 22 September 2021
    coping with high conflict as a stepmother
    How I Coped with High Conflict as a Stepmother
    SMIS 30 January 2021
    measurable resolutions for the anxious stepmother
    8 Measurable Resolutions for the Anxious Stepmother
    SMIS 1 January 2021
    Why no one should call you that woman ever again
    Why No One Should Call You “That Woman” Ever Again
    SMIS 25 September 2020
    Stepmother guilt for having a cup of coffee
    Enough of the Mum and Stepmum Guilt – No More!
    SMIS 15 July 2020
    Woman in heels sitting on ledge by the sea
    Why Stepmum In Stilettos?
    SMIS 4 July 2020
    How to work your monthly cycle to your stepmother advantage
    How to Work Your Monthly Cycle to your Stepmother Advantage
    SMIS 24 June 2020
    An Interview with a Stepmother Surviving Her Partner’s Parental Alienation
    SMIS 13 June 2021
    being a stepmother without access to your stepchildren
    Existing as a Stepmother Without Access to your Stepchildren
    SMIS 13 April 2021
    Two years without your daughter
    Living in a Nightmare – Two Years Without Your Daughter
    SMIS 18 August 2020
    speaking out about parental alienation
    Speaking Out about Parental Alienation – His Story
    SMIS 5 August 2020
    A stepmother on the outskirts of the conversation - what step parenting taught me about parenting
    What Struggling as a Stepmother Taught Me about Parenting
    SMIS 2 September 2020
    step siblings and half siblings together
    Do Your Children Refuse to Use “Half” and “Step”?
    SMIS 10 July 2020
    Raising our Children to be anti-racist
    Raising Our Children to be Anti-racist
    SMIS 3 July 2020
    stepmother finances in a stepfamily
    The Stepfamily’s Finances; Madness and Sacrifice?
    SMIS 8 October 2020
    margarita nights for the sweet magnolias
    In Defence of Noreen – Netflix’s Sweet Magnolias
    SMIS 18 January 2021
    Tiara for new royal stepmother
    A New Stepmother in the Royal Family
    SMIS 20 July 2020
    Woman in heels sitting on ledge by the sea
    Why Stepmum In Stilettos?
    SMIS 4 July 2020
    Couple dealing with infertility
    The Devastation of Being Refused IVF, Simply Because You’re a Stepparent
    SMIS 10 May 2021
    Parental responsibility as a stepmother - it matters when it's raining
    Stepmothers and the Law II: Parental Responsibility
    SMIS 7 July 2020
    Finding the right legal advice
    Stepmothers and the Law I: Finding the Right Legal Advice
    SMIS 28 June 2020
  • Resources
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Stepmum In Stilettos
  • Home
  • The Stepmother Diaries
  • Blog Series
    • The Stepmother’s Role
    • Feminist Stepmother
    • Parental Alienation
    • Parenting
    • Stepmothers’ Finances
    • Celebrating Stepmothers
    • Stepmothers’ Legal Rights
    happy stepmother happy life
    6 Commandments for New Stepparents
    SMIS 7 February 2022
    Top Tips For Getting Your Stepchild’s Mother Out Of Your Head
    SMIS 22 September 2021
    coping with high conflict as a stepmother
    How I Coped with High Conflict as a Stepmother
    SMIS 30 January 2021
    measurable resolutions for the anxious stepmother
    8 Measurable Resolutions for the Anxious Stepmother
    SMIS 1 January 2021
    Why no one should call you that woman ever again
    Why No One Should Call You “That Woman” Ever Again
    SMIS 25 September 2020
    Stepmother guilt for having a cup of coffee
    Enough of the Mum and Stepmum Guilt – No More!
    SMIS 15 July 2020
    Woman in heels sitting on ledge by the sea
    Why Stepmum In Stilettos?
    SMIS 4 July 2020
    How to work your monthly cycle to your stepmother advantage
    How to Work Your Monthly Cycle to your Stepmother Advantage
    SMIS 24 June 2020
    An Interview with a Stepmother Surviving Her Partner’s Parental Alienation
    SMIS 13 June 2021
    being a stepmother without access to your stepchildren
    Existing as a Stepmother Without Access to your Stepchildren
    SMIS 13 April 2021
    Two years without your daughter
    Living in a Nightmare – Two Years Without Your Daughter
    SMIS 18 August 2020
    speaking out about parental alienation
    Speaking Out about Parental Alienation – His Story
    SMIS 5 August 2020
    A stepmother on the outskirts of the conversation - what step parenting taught me about parenting
    What Struggling as a Stepmother Taught Me about Parenting
    SMIS 2 September 2020
    step siblings and half siblings together
    Do Your Children Refuse to Use “Half” and “Step”?
    SMIS 10 July 2020
    Raising our Children to be anti-racist
    Raising Our Children to be Anti-racist
    SMIS 3 July 2020
    stepmother finances in a stepfamily
    The Stepfamily’s Finances; Madness and Sacrifice?
    SMIS 8 October 2020
    margarita nights for the sweet magnolias
    In Defence of Noreen – Netflix’s Sweet Magnolias
    SMIS 18 January 2021
    Tiara for new royal stepmother
    A New Stepmother in the Royal Family
    SMIS 20 July 2020
    Woman in heels sitting on ledge by the sea
    Why Stepmum In Stilettos?
    SMIS 4 July 2020
    Couple dealing with infertility
    The Devastation of Being Refused IVF, Simply Because You’re a Stepparent
    SMIS 10 May 2021
    Parental responsibility as a stepmother - it matters when it's raining
    Stepmothers and the Law II: Parental Responsibility
    SMIS 7 July 2020
    Finding the right legal advice
    Stepmothers and the Law I: Finding the Right Legal Advice
    SMIS 28 June 2020
  • Resources
  • Who Am I
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SMIS

Drink at the bar
The Stepmother Diaries
14 February 2022

14 February 2022 – Like Picking a Lock with a Fork

Feel the heat rising under his collar and wish I could stop it. Too late, here it is. The truth.

1 Shares
SMIS 14 February 2022
happy stepmother happy life
Latest Articles, The Stepmother's Role
7 February 2022

6 Commandments for New Stepparents

Hey brand spanking new stepparent, pull up a pew. The stepparent community is a supportive bunch, and with their help I’ve put together the 6 commandments for a happy and successful life as a new stepparent.

2 Shares
SMIS 7 February 2022
Stepmother blogging
The Stepmother Diaries
1 February 2022

1 February 2022 – Like They Needed More Salt

What could she possibly want now?

2 Shares
SMIS 1 February 2022
Stepmother Diaries
The Stepmother Diaries
12 January 2022

12 January 2022 – You wouldn’t know a successful stepmother if it slapped you on the arse.

“Interested in” – hot dads. Don’t say hot dads. I’M A LOW-LIFE, DON’T LOOK AT ME.

2 Shares
SMIS 12 January 2022
Diary of a stepmother
The Stepmother Diaries
4 January 2022

4 January 2022 – Hangry and Hungover

Suspect am sabotaging own mental wellbeing – should put a lock on own phone.

1 Shares
SMIS 4 January 2022
Latest Articles, The Stepmother's Role
22 September 2021

Top Tips For Getting Your Stepchild’s Mother Out Of Your Head

This article first appeared on Stepfamily Magazine. She’s in there, taking up space, time and…

5 Shares
SMIS 22 September 2021
Latest Articles, Parental Alienation
13 June 2021

An Interview with a Stepmother Surviving Her Partner’s Parental Alienation

Tips for surviving your partner’s parental alienation, from two women who have been there.

13 Shares
SMIS 13 June 2021
Couple dealing with infertility
Latest Articles, Stepmothers' Legal Rights
10 May 2021

The Devastation of Being Refused IVF, Simply Because You’re a Stepparent

In the UK, you may be refused IVF treatment on the NHS simply because your partner already has a child.

3 Shares
SMIS 10 May 2021
being a stepmother without access to your stepchildren
Parental Alienation
13 April 2021

Existing as a Stepmother Without Access to your Stepchildren

***This article comes with a health warning this time. Losing child access is an enormously…

4 Shares
SMIS 13 April 2021
coping with high conflict as a stepmother
Latest Articles, The Stepmother's Role
30 January 2021

How I Coped with High Conflict as a Stepmother

5 essential tips for stepmothers who find themselves in the middle of a high conflict dynamic.

2 Shares
SMIS 30 January 2021
margarita nights for the sweet magnolias
Celebrating Stepmothers
18 January 2021

In Defence of Noreen – Netflix’s Sweet Magnolias

A stepmother’s review of Netflix’s Sweet Magnolias.

3 Shares
SMIS 18 January 2021
measurable resolutions for the anxious stepmother
The Stepmother's Role
1 January 2021

8 Measurable Resolutions for the Anxious Stepmother

Start the year with these resolutions to reduce anxiety and live more of the life you want within your stepfamily.

5 Shares
SMIS 1 January 2021
Stepmother struggling at Christmas
The Stepmother's Role
13 December 2020

To the Stepmother Struggling at Christmas

The top three things to keep at the front of your mind if you’re a stepmother struggling at Christmas. How to not just survive, but thrive.

7 Shares
SMIS 13 December 2020
stepmother in the car
The Stepmother's Role
26 October 2020

Are Stepmothers Welcome at the Pick Up and Drop Off?

And should you go? Some of the many reasons a stepmother might feel obliged (driven?!) to go along to the pick-up, and when it might no longer be a good idea.

4 Shares
SMIS 26 October 2020
stepmother finances in a stepfamily
Stepmothers' Finances
8 October 2020

The Stepfamily’s Finances; Madness and Sacrifice?

Debt, guilt, resentment, and a stepmother’s desire to protect what she has. The issues and feelings facing stepfamilies when it comes to money.

3 Shares
SMIS 8 October 2020
Why no one should call you that woman ever again
Feminist Stepmother
25 September 2020

Why No One Should Call You “That Woman” Ever Again

So many stepmothers have suffered a degrading nickname. Here is why “That Woman” is one of the worst things you can be called.

4 Shares
SMIS 25 September 2020
A stepmother on the outskirts of the conversation - what step parenting taught me about parenting
Parenting
2 September 2020

What Struggling as a Stepmother Taught Me about Parenting

Parental “ownership”, having multitudes of role models and a little feminist rant – what struggling as a stepmother taught me about mothering.

6 Shares
SMIS 2 September 2020
Two years without your daughter
Parental Alienation
18 August 2020

Living in a Nightmare – Two Years Without Your Daughter

My partner was cut out of his daughter’s life for two years following the beginning of our relationship. Here is what parental alienation feels like.

4 Shares
SMIS 18 August 2020
speaking out about parental alienation
Parental Alienation
5 August 2020

Speaking Out about Parental Alienation – His Story

A father speaks out about parental alienation and the effects it had on his family. Read how he coped, and his advice to those going through the same thing.

1 Shares
SMIS 5 August 2020
Parental alienation
Parental Alienation
31 July 2020

Understanding Parental Alienation

Parental alienation is now being seen as a form of family violence, but do we have the capacity to recognise it and stamp it out?

47 Shares
SMIS 31 July 2020
Tiara for new royal stepmother
Celebrating Stepmothers
20 July 2020

A New Stepmother in the Royal Family

Is this a good thing?

1 Shares
SMIS 20 July 2020
Stepmother guilt for having a cup of coffee
Feminist Stepmother
15 July 2020

Enough of the Mum and Stepmum Guilt – No More!

Why is a woman’s worth still so tied up in how consumed she is by her family, and why do we judge ourselves on our abilities as a homemaker and child carer?

13 Shares
SMIS 15 July 2020
step siblings and half siblings together
Parenting
10 July 2020

Do Your Children Refuse to Use “Half” and “Step”?

Is there a right way and a wrong way to refer to your half or step siblings? How using particular terminology implies positive and negative emotions.

10 Shares
SMIS 10 July 2020
Parental responsibility as a stepmother - it matters when it's raining
Stepmothers' Legal Rights
7 July 2020

Stepmothers and the Law II: Parental Responsibility

What is Parental Responsibility and how does it apply to stepmothers?

4 Shares
SMIS 7 July 2020
Woman in heels sitting on ledge by the sea
Celebrating Stepmothers, Feminist Stepmother
4 July 2020

Why Stepmum In Stilettos?

The inspiration behind the blog, why I write what I do, and a call to you.

2 Shares
SMIS 4 July 2020
Raising our Children to be anti-racist
Parenting
3 July 2020

Raising Our Children to be Anti-racist

Change starts at home. Some ideas of how stepmothers can start, or continue to, raise anti-racist children and combat racial bias within their families.

1 Shares
SMIS 3 July 2020
Finding the right legal advice
Stepmothers' Legal Rights
28 June 2020

Stepmothers and the Law I: Finding the Right Legal Advice

The first in our Stepmothers and the Law series – how to find the right legal advice for your family.

2 Shares
SMIS 28 June 2020
How to work your monthly cycle to your stepmother advantage
Feminist Stepmother
24 June 2020

How to Work Your Monthly Cycle to your Stepmother Advantage

Harnessing Aunty Flo.

6 Shares
SMIS 24 June 2020
Hating The Ex
The Stepmother's Role
21 June 2020

Hating the Fact that You Don’t Hate The Ex

How to maintain some emotional distance with your partner’s ex when you realise that you don’t hate her as much as you thought.

5 Shares
SMIS 21 June 2020
Feminist Stepmother
21 June 2020

Your First Steps as The Other Woman

Coping with infidelity at the beginning of your relationship – where you were The Other Woman. The importance of grieving, accepting and moving on.

7 Shares
SMIS 21 June 2020
Becoming a stepmother
The Stepmother's Role
18 June 2020

When Do I Become a Stepmother?

How Stepmum In Stilettos Uses the Title and Why You Are Welcome Here There is…

3 Shares
SMIS 18 June 2020
The Stepmother's Role
16 June 2020

Difficult Beginnings: Moving Forward as a Stepmother Outsider

Rough starts as a stepmother are common, but there are some things you can do now to make your future life easier. For those who are made to feel like an outsider.

5 Shares
SMIS 16 June 2020
Wrestling with the Ex
The Stepmother's Role
11 June 2020

How to Make the Ex Your Bestie

It’s easy when you know how.

1 Shares
SMIS 11 June 2020
Latest Posts
  • Drink at the bar
    The Stepmother Diaries
    14 February 2022 – Like Picking a Lock with a Fork
    SMIS 14 February 2022
  • happy stepmother happy life
    Latest Articles, The Stepmother's Role
    6 Commandments for New Stepparents
    SMIS 7 February 2022
  • Stepmother blogging
    The Stepmother Diaries
    1 February 2022 – Like They Needed More Salt
    SMIS 1 February 2022
  • Stepmother Diaries
    The Stepmother Diaries
    12 January 2022 – You wouldn’t know a successful stepmother if it slapped you on the arse.
    SMIS 12 January 2022
  • Diary of a stepmother
    The Stepmother Diaries
    4 January 2022 – Hangry and Hungover
    SMIS 4 January 2022
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Stepmother blog🇬🇧|Stepmum support & acknowledgement|
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Stepmum In Stilettos 👠
I really shouldn’t have to say this, and yet sti I really shouldn’t have to say this, and yet still I do… 

We have got to stop basing a woman’s value on whether or not she’s given birth.

And with women’s rights being constantly on the brink of erosion, even now in 20-bloody-22, it feels even more important than ever to spell it out. 

I know so many stepmothers who feel less important, or less respected, as a PERSON simply because they haven’t experienced childbirth. 🤦‍♀️

I also know stepmothers who only felt that they had a genuine say or a real place in their family once they had their own children.

Both your role and your happiness within your family situation is just as essential as everyone else’s. You are worth so much more than the sum of your biological experiences. 🫶

I have said this before and I will continue to say it for as long as stepmothers feel worthless, or confused, or depressed within what is such an important role and which deserves to be respected as such.

WHAT YOU DO IS IMPORTANT. And childbirth has nothing to do with it.

#sundayactivism #armchairactivism #stepparentsupport #stepmomlove #stepmumblog #stepmumuk
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