Who Am I

A stepfamily believer.

A proud, deeply conflicted millennial.

A fighting feminist.

A practicing lawyer.

A stepmother and a mother.

Ultimately though, someone with exactly the same fears, insecurities and dare-I-say-it dramas as you.


The real Stepmum In Stilettos

This blog is anonymous for two reasons.


The first is simply to protect my family and those involved with them.

The second is to maintain an element of impartiality; whilst I draw on my own experiences in places, this will only be useful to you taken in the round of the other resources you’ll find mentioned or critiqued here. Another stepmother’s story shouldn’t detract from the fact-based approaches available to you.

This is particularly important given that no two stepmother situations are the same, and we all know that what has worked for one won’t necessarily work for you. There is an answer for you out there though, and I want to help you find it.



They told you that you knew what you were getting into, but in reality you had no idea. And why would you?!

blog for stepmothers - stepmum in stilettos

It was an enormous leap of faith on your part, and for that you should be applauded rather than condemned. Like all stepmothers I believe in second chances, I believe in hope, and, to shamelessly quote the hapless romance of Baz Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge, above all I believe in love (“love is a many splendered thing”).

I also believe that you are exactly what your family needs, and that with the right knowledge and moral support you can believe it too.

Because you are not alone – there are millions of stepfamilies existing today, literally. It’s a legitimate, important family structure, and it’s time we spoke about its inner workings more openly and with more conviction.

For more about the motivation behind the blog, pootle on over to Why Stepmum In Stilettos?

Whether you’re a fellow heels-totterer, a walking boots wonderer, or even a bare foot nomad at heart, all Steppers (and those that love them) are so very welcome.

The more we keep talking about all things stepfamily, the more likely it is that stepfamilies will at last be recognised and understood as the healthy, valid and important dynamics they are.

Step forth proudly you glorious woman! Let’s remember why we’re doing all this in the first place.