Who Am I


Stepmother blog

A stepmother blogger, blogging for you.

I am your cheerleader, your tough-lover, the one who will hold your hand or your hair back, and I know the insecurities you feel on a daily basis because I feel them too. I’m here in my best shoes and most wicked of smiles.

I was happily minding my own business when bam and kapow, I entered the complicated world of stepmother-hood in 2017. Within six months I was desperate for some validation that I was doing everything right by my new family. It quickly became apparent to me that, whilst there is growing commentary and support out there for women taking on this ever-morphing, bitchy little trickster of a role, it isn’t always easy to find and certainly isn’t always positive.

Even more importantly, there was a thread missing from the conversation – that of feminism and its participation in our roles.

Because how can you understand your worth as a stepmother, without first understanding your worth as a woman?

This site aims to pull together some of the very best thought around the topic, and to add to the ever growing mantra that “you are not alone”.


They told you that you knew what you were getting into, but in reality you had no idea. And why would you?!


It was an enormous leap of faith on your part, and for that you should be applauded rather than condemned. Like all stepmothers I believe in second chances, I believe in hope, and, to shamelessly quote the hapless romance of Baz Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge, above all I believe in love (“love is a many splendered thing”).

I also believe that you are exactly what your family needs, and that with the right knowledge and moral support you can believe it too.


This blog is anonymous for two reasons.


The first is simply to protect my family and those involved with them. The second is to maintain an element of impartiality; whilst I draw on my own experiences in places, this will only be useful to you taken in the round of the other resources you’ll find mentioned or critiqued here, and my story shouldn’t detract from the fact-based approaches available to you.

This is particularly important given that no two stepmother situations are the same, and we all know that what has worked for me won’t necessarily work for you. There is an answer for you out there though, and I want to help you find it.

For more about the motivation behind the blog, pootle on over to Why Stepmum In Stilettos?


Whether you’re a fellow heels-totterer, a walking boots wonderer, or even a bare foot nomad at heart, all Steppers (and those that love them) are so very welcome. Find the shoes that fit your mood, and step forth proudly you glorious woman! Let’s remember why we’re doing all this in the first place.

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